I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
