I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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