she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
