I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
