I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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