I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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