This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
