I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
