i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
