did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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