She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
