We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
