I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
