3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
