We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All the doctor said was why
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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