I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
