I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
