My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think people are normalizing furries
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
