So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
