I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
