How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
