I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
