don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
