O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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