I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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