i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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