3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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