I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
