Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
