Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
