I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
