He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
