Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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