I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
