it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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