i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
