handjob tips. give me some.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
