So drunk its hurt
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
