Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
