Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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