Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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