i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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