Fine. I'll sleep in my office
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
