There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
