I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
