Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
