so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
vagina is talking i cant
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
