Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
