Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
