Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you never un-have a 4some
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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