omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
