addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so let's talk penis.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
